rap attack. rappers is wack. jacket cracks a bag of them wavy lay's. lady, behave. rappers come up missing. you ain't seen jay-z for days. come up on the track lookin like a god-damn crazy face. plate of mashed potates and gravy on my lazy day. smokin hazy haze. it's purple as grimace and it makes you grimace. come on the track like dennis the menace and finish my sentences like penitentiary bitches cuz i'm in it to win it. what century is it? rhymes to infinite. spin it like the wheel of fortune. my little dude's finna come through with the steel enforcement. sittin low in a box chevy. shorty's a little top-heavy. when it comes to the cops, i'm always cocked and ready. that's just me. J to the AKE. never lazy. come on the track like biscuits and gravy. might come through rockin versace shades, you never know. shit if i could paint (draw?) like raymond pettibon i'd probably have a better home. never leave the cess alone; what sense would that make? try rappin at jake you might actually wind up in a back brace. to the people saying that's fake: chug a cum bucket. let's get er done. fuck it. roll a spliff and smoke the shit cuz homelessness is not an option. known to dick a ho and split. never sober. get them bottles poppin. matter of fact, get bottle service. i'm worthless. i'm a fuckin creep. motherfuckers on the bus get disgusted and ask what's up with me and i'm like "i'm just puffin weed and scribing my thoughts". you think you hype but you not. i mean you might be a pop hit but in a cypher you flop. that's all i got to say. J to the AK. smoke weed everyday cuz there can be no other way.
Track Name: wutta fool
i don't have enough dro to write this. anxiety grows like a ficus tree when i don't have weed in my lung pipes. i'm as nice as your granny but i don't give bum wipes. damn, that's tight. jacket on the track like a buncha damn mice trynna have a new life in the big city like fievel. screamin "fuck the bible, imma crush my rivals". god damn i'm a joke. got a gram of the coke. kickin it with some bitches in a van on a boat. that's real life. skully to my face. run up on you with a steel knife for a pack of pall mall reds and a slim jim. dim sum with a bitch on the weekend. that don't rhyme but its cool, i'm jamaican. rastafar-i wanna smoke and eat some wheat thins. i'm a fool ass dude. make myself look like a droolin ass stooge as a joke but it's not funny, i know. you wouldn't even kick it if you weren't buyin pot from me. ha, i'm a franco. $60 for a gram. come and get your damn dank, ho. i'm a dopeman, bitch. i'm a problem. suck my dick with an extra large condom. ridin shottie with the ghost like molina. shoot em in the feet and make em do the macarena. i'm a god damn demon when it cums to my semens. lol
Track Name: dick foley
swagger out the knapsack. slap a couple ass cracks. lasses trynna chat up the brat and that's a flashback. wacky like the rat pack. crack a couple caps at these rap hacks while i stack the fat guap. the kid's a dummy. he been funny. he been gettin money and slim jims and gummy bunnies for the munchies. i got a hunch he's hungry. my weed's as green as gumby. i'm hella crunchy, bitch; even my jesus piece is unclean. dick foley. my shit's holey moley. i spits colder than polar b. lips. bitch blow me. i'm out my acorn. damon dashin' with j. borne. jacob's after his duckets. you motherfuckers should've stuck to gay porn. now i'm outta dutches, was finna pick up like 8 more when suddenly i'm up in this bitch's guts like a tapeworm. i'm doper than your average ghost. let's have a toast to average joe who never learns that fame's a tragic road. two red bulls and a swisher. my head's full of that mixture of red syrup and sprite and i snort white by the zipper. i snort K by the bundle. i just came here to rumble. my main damn is a 20. i still sting like a bumble, ya smell me? with my top missin. white bitches bitch about white privilege til they shoplift and don't get stopped and frisked in the lot by a rent-a-cop and shit.
Track Name: don't blow it
shorty trynna have a hike through the snow peaks. score me a couple bags of white for my ho-piece. chillin at the bar sippin on some son of james. it's fuckin great to be up in the A. bitch i be buckin and brayin just like a fuckin mustang. you tussle with jake and he puts the slug in your brain. i'm unrelated to dane; he's a lame-ass. i'll take some grapefruit juice and a plate of bacon for breakfast. soul just not feel right. cold much like steel pipes. much cess. i confess my gun gets me real hype. i'm fire like hot magma. my jaguar's got plasmas. fat dudes with tattoos eat cashews with grandma. jacket's the handle. i'm waxin like candles. my rappin preamble causes mike jackson-like scandals. i rip and i rhyme over tight breaks. the white faced christ figure. jake's a hype-getter. hide your wife or i might dick her. zooted. i'm tooty-fruity. dude he dookies on MCs. known to crash a party when it's done to chug the empties. i'm in the zone, drinkin arizona like tempe. atlanta tatted on my ass til i'm 10 feet.
Track Name: all night
one time for the bitches that run shit, standin behind the guys who got the badges and gun clips. wood grain grippin in my grey prada gloves. smoke to ease the pain of forgotten loves. i pull up to the party in the lamborgini. roof missin like it was in hurricane katrina. at the cantina with some evil senoritas. jesus piece gleamin on my neck, girl you shoulda seen it. started puttin turds in the oven, now i'm hot shit. word to your cousin, i'm not the kid you f*****s wanna box with. noxious fumes. i copped some shrooms and popped two. now i'm floatin to the top of the room. no ceiling. no feeling for a mo-fo wheeling and dealing. peddle your wares elsewhere, bitch i'm a fuckin freegan. i'm morgan freeman on the track…no i'm actually beavis. just let me creep upon your back like a massive aguina (iguana). blunts. i'm punchin cunts up in the rectum. in a session with thes one. quit messin with my stepson. stepped on and pissed off. dicksauce drips from my ding dong. i sing songs for bitches with big thongs. jacket's on some "get the paper and split". get the paper and lick it to seal the haze in the spliff. never rapin no bitch but consent is my shit. when i'm takin a shit you know the scent is legit. just bought a bowl of cereal that cost your paycheck. latex bitches lay in wait for the great sex. i'm holdin titties like playtex. bangin in your tape deck. you could never get the type of scrilla that jake gets. stays grindin. i take time and i make rhymin look like cake slices with grape wine: delicioso! all these wack ass rap cats are so-so. my flow goes harder than bruce lee in a dojo. relax buddy. buddy relax. don't make a motherfucker have to fuckin bloody the axe. hey bro, imma take over the world with my flow. you already know.
Track Name: juju
pull up in that new drop bangin that 2pac. hanky panky with skanks wearin spanx and tubetops. who's got the greenery? take a peej and change the scenery. shouts to all you hatin lames demeaning me. i will not back down. call me t. petty. yall just might catch me up at the mall with your betty. yall just might catch me at the majestic, all sweaty, just trynna stack up the lettuce and fuckin stock up the dressing. i'm tough as a motherfuck. rappers be trynna eat. i'm fuckin they supper up. i'm a sucker for bubble butts. yup. enough is enough. bitch, i drop a beat and then the ruckus is brung. i put a slug on my tongue and do cunnilingus. bitch i'm a dingus. rest in peace to amadou diallo, on some real shit. i kick the realness. my rhymes are banal because i'm stupid, that's the same reason i flunked out of algebra. teach me how to dougie and treat me like a motherfuckin duchess and smoke me like a camel royal. what makes you think your fuckin man is loyal? just take a chance on the dance, baby, your plans are foiled. i'm standin on royal street with a handful of soil to chuck at vanity plates. bitch we'll never be royals. we scrape and save to make the train to the job site. the mob life got me fuckin clenchin my jaw tight and sleepin with one eye. dumb guys incorporated. my morbid nature got me feelin more than hatred for tourists and vagrants. i'm on tour with the nation of ulysses. bitch if you ain't picky i got some leftover chicken up in the fridgie, so let's get down to business cuz i know you missed me.
Track Name: you can touch
you in the presence of a motherfuckin g. hopefully you know it's me. take a bag of frozen peas and shove em straight up your ovaries. you notice me from class but that don't make you my homie. we graduated from pabst and now we got an open B, cuz we made it. we chillin up at sundance. i'm gonna hit that hotel room and change into my fun-pants. weeks ago we were just poppin oberons at mammal, now we passin a handle with the cast of scandal and i've never even seen that show. fuck livin life in the margins. i'm grindin on a chick with a booty the size of a marlin. you can call me brando but i don't like hangin with rando's so i'm just sayin ho, please refrain from handlin your camera phone. i'm in the zone and i'm eatin shrimp, bitch. my pimp limp's so legit i belong in the special olympics. i'm a dipshit. you don't believe me, ask my PO. dropped 3-0 on a new mazda neo. wassup rockers! all the people in the house need to shut your fuckin mouth. oh jacket man, he comes from the south. you need to shut your fuckin mouth before i take your fuckin blouse and i put it on my head. that's some real shit. now i'm swaggin on your wife-piece but i might be jesus christ in a white tee so back the fuck up if you trynna fight me. i just like peace. pacifistic anachronistic biotch who's excited to eat the half a chicken he bought. whoa dude. i copped it from whole foods. got a couple bitches, gotta keep em on they toes dude. toss a medicine ball in they direction. just testin they reflexes. drink mexican beer and then its sex in the rear for these hexens. shit, i'm just jakin'. if you don't like it, change the station. i'm on 88.5 but georgia state's a bunch of donald fagens. on 88.5% alcohol and it's got me faded. tell grady take my hide but say i'm unable to pay them cuz i'm broke as fuck. who you think i is though, scrooge mcduck? i could give two fucks if you be stuck up at the pizza hut. i'm just doin' my own thing. got a bunch of fuckin chicken wings and…(trails off)
Track Name: grotto
yeah bitch they tried to stop me. they sent them paparazzis. them thought police was just jockin me. this shit ain't monopoly. propery sloppy. let's get some papi's. my cock is floppy. i pop the glock and cop trees just to stop the monotony. we back, we back. we just relapsed on weed packs. move em out like pineapple house cuz we bout them greenbacks. stash the cash and then relax. roll one up and i kick it. shorty let me in that sexy mouth. my check account's 9 digits. he's on his Q's and P's. usually he stays glued to TV. she's got big boobies and a booty, yeah she's a superfreak. sippin drambuie with meek mill. i need a refill. bout to bust into dunkin' and fuck with a dozen cream-filled. yeah cream-filled, and a large iced coffee to go. got a copyright on my rhymes or else matty b might copy the flow. got dro by the ziplock. this hip hop put me on like mafia hoes. knock me a lobe. i got me a blowtorch. i suggest you not be a foe. got a bad bitch in my grotto. might make her sing vibrato. i'm munchin on some tacos and smokin lots of pot, yo. baby, you don't wanna know how much i love you. baby, you don't know how much i'm dreamin of you.
9. planet fuck (instrumental)
Track Name: chevy hat
god damn is he 'tarded and man does he spark spliffs. bitch i got the key the key to gramercy park. quit pullin' my plonker. jacket goes hard in the carpet. i'm marky mark with a scarf, a scarlet cardigan and a large dick. target your artist and discard the carcass. i'm far from the margins but critics say i'm garbage regardless. garnish my wage and imma tarnish your face like seal. i'm takin meals, now i know how a great white feels. lemme finish my sentence on why the windows is tinted. critics tend to be dissin cuz im a menace to bitches. coupe the shade of baby food. jake is a crazy dude. holy crap, hold him back like a lazy student. ATL til the death of me. defininitely wreckin beats. try and test the recipe, you're next to be like "rest in peace". devil sittin next to me like "wassup, satan". let me get up in that vajay cuz these drugs fadin. i'm gordon ramsay bitch and damn is she famished. she wants a ring but i'm like "what you think, this fantasy camp?". park the sabre and startle my neighbors. they can scoff but they some dogs so to bark's in their nature, so fuck em dude. most skills in the trap and the host to millions of gnats. my rhymes kill. i'm the stoned brian wilson of rap. eat me some sour patch children then i power nap. packin bowls and packin stadiums and i'm drink two buck chucks cuz i grew up fucked in the cranium. this shit goes out to jessie jr., jason and damien. i take the win and celebrate by drainin an eighth of gin.
Track Name: birth of the bitch
if i ask her "why you mad" she's gonna get mad, so imma cool it, light a fag and just forget that. imma take the label off the beer bottle, take my hand off the throttle and cut the chit-chat. after all i got no trust for these bitches just gettin up in my business and i'm too fuckin busy for an uppity mistress, right? i'm just a loner and a stoner and i don't have the headspace to devote to these hoes who just handle boners. that's why i'm sittin on the can, pukin in the shower at 5 in the morning lookin down from an ivory tower. cuz i'm "above the bullshit". i mean, look at the kid. lame tee, stained jeans: jake cook is a bitch! do your laundry, stupid. and pay your rent. and stop gainin weight; you finna break the cement. and stop actin paid when you act makin no cents. if you so tough, whys a rap the only place you can vent? gather your fecal matter. quit with the needless chatter. and when you're talkin to the cops, cut all the legal patter. they ain't trynna hear that…you're finna get slammed to a car hood. you got warrants, bitch. quit actin like its all good. i could dance if you pull my strings. a couple drinks and some chicken wings. this is the birth of the bitch king. jacket was the kid with his head down, always gettin a lecture. shoutin about oppressors and spoutin conjecture. a born smart-ass with a narcissistic reflex hopin that one day my intelligence would get me some sex. behold the freak of nature known as me. i'm a fuckin piece of fecal matter on the bottom of some tattered cleats. skittles for breakfast. he's probably riddled with disease. i found him on the ground at mickey d's. look at him, he's the dumbest motherfucker at mensa. he's always flippin out and fuckin up his potential. his teeth needs repair but he ain't square with the dental because his brain's about the size of a like a pea or a lentil. they say "damn, jacket. your life is a fuckin joke. how many times can one man write about puffin dope? and how many raps can he bust about jack and coke til he's swingin from a rope, dead from a lack of hope?" but i cruise on. i'm all about my grey poupon. i mustered up courage to ask these hoes to get they groove on. i'm sick with it. never gonna lay off cess. again, i'm sick with it, bitch. shout out to ALS.
Track Name: feels straight to be jake
before a whore would hold me and way before the rollie i was bustin raps just so i wouldn't feel bored and lonely. i went from bussin tables to my own label. this ain't a fable, bitch. i'm raisin cain cuz i was able. i used to staple flyers to posts, now i'm the most recognized. never sell out. to hell with all them devlish lies. my bank account's on swole. i finally got my weight up cuz jacob never gave up his goal. started with a fuckin dollar and scratch-off, now hoes be trynna holler and the bros be takin hats off. life is but a dream. shout out to nursery rhymes. they used to skip over my verses, now they press rewind. i was a stupid individual but now i gets residuals. shorty in the auditorium givin me visuals. i'm makin millions cuz i'm brilliant and resilent and i went from bein a civilian to straight killin shit. you haters had it up to here, i know it. you secretly be on the dick but you just too chicken to show it. now i'm drinkin moet like its h20, shit. suppose it's because i made all this dough just from bein a poet. feels good to be good. feels great to be great. feels dope to be dope. feels straight to be jake. all my enemies are rude. trynna take my sunny day and run away and fuckin make me into ebeneezer scrooge, but i'm stickin to the posi. i'll be dipped if you could pause me. fuck you if you sleepin on me, like my name was cosby (WOW!). i'm a zombie with the mic. bout to probably get a bite to eat. the mic and me go right together like some rice and beans. the mic and me go right together like sublime and weed. speakin of which, time to get high like i just climbed a tree. slow like an armadillo from the cigarillo. used to be hungry, now its hundies in the bill-fold. my swag is off the andy richter. catch the young'n out in peoplestown. man he's around. damn he's a fixture. it's the mister blister. takin sips of christmas liquor, watchin sister sister. bartenders love me cuz i'm known to be sickest tipper. you fit the picture of a dickless hipster.